Careers at Waterfall 2024: Where Yesterday’s Skills Meet Today’s Job Market
Welcome to the most paradoxical job board you’ve ever encountered. At Waterfall 2024, we’re not just stepping back in time with software development—we’re bringing retro job opportunities to the modern age. Imagine a world where the coffee is always brewing, the modems are dial-up, and the code compiles eventually. Intrigued? Perplexed? Amused? Join the club.
Open Positions:
- Lead Tape Backup Operator
- Responsibilities include changing magnetic tapes in our state-of-the-art (circa 1980) data center and ensuring the punch cards are well sorted. Familiarity with reel-to-reel is a plus.
- Fortran Enthusiast
- Seeking someone who speaks fluent Fortran and has a sentimental attachment to legacy systems. Must passionately resist the adoption of any language developed post-1977.
- Documentation Specialist
- If you love writing more about software than actually using it, this role is for you. Must be able to produce documentation in triplicate and appreciate the beauty of a well-maintained filing cabinet.
- Y2K Compliance Officer
- With the overwhelming success of our last check in 1999, we are due for another review. Applicants should be skilled in creating and promoting Y2K preparedness plans.
Why Join Us?
At Waterfall 2024, we celebrate the long-gone days of the software dark ages with tongue firmly in cheek. Our office is filled with relics of a bygone era—think floppy disks and fax machines. We offer competitive salaries paid in the most traditional manner: hand-signed checks. Benefits include comprehensive health insurance (dental coverage pending approval since 1992) and a generous pension plan, assuming you can decode the benefits booklet written in COBOL.
To apply, send us a telegram, or better yet, mail your resume on a scroll. We’re located somewhere between the past and a hard place, but if you find us, maybe you’re just right for the job.
Note: Please be aware that actual job availability may depend on the alignment of celestial bodies and the survival of our office plants. We look forward to possibly hearing from you, someday, maybe.