2006: The Inaugural Burst
The first and only Waterfall conference dazzles dozens, introducing the latest in sequential development methodologies. Its overwhelming success leads to the decision that perhaps perfection should never be attempted again, setting a high bar for avoidance.
2007-2012: The Silent Years
Following the spectacle of 2006, organizers decide to let the overwhelming wisdom of the initial conference marinate in the minds of attendees for several years. During this period, rumors of secret meetings circulate, all of which are as unconfirmed as the benefits of the Waterfall method itself.
2013: The Year of the Maybe
Plans for a revival are drafted but quickly shelved when the lead organizer realizes the agile manifesto is more than just a trendy coaster. The Waterfall community nods solemnly and returns to their extensive documentation.
2014-2016: The Lost Invitations
A series of events were meticulously planned, venues booked, speakers briefed. Unfortunately, the invitations, created with the utmost attention to detail, were never sent out. Attendees praise the conference’s adherence to thoroughness over presence.
2017: The Invisible Conference
Allegedly held in an undisclosed bunker. Attendees are sworn to secrecy, and records are encrypted in a forgotten programming language. Scholars maintain it was the best session no one ever saw.
2018-2019: Budgeting Blunders
A budget was allocated to develop a proprietary software for event management. Unfortunately, the software took two years to complete and was immediately outdated, leading to the cancellation of both years’ events.
2020: The Pandemic Pause
An online conference was considered but dismissed for fear it might accidentally be efficient and effective. Traditionalists breathe a sigh of relief as physical distancing guidelines make old-school networking sessions impossible.
2021-2022: Recovery and Reflection
The community reflects on the existential questions raised by their software projects that are still in the design phase. The world wasn’t ready for another Waterfall conference—or was it that Waterfall wasn’t ready for the world?
2023: Preparing for Perfection
Plans for the grand resurrection are set. This time, the paperwork is double-checked, and the Gantt charts are triple-checked. Anticipation builds for a conference that promises to rewind time.
2024: The Grand Resurrection
Finally, the stars align (mainly because the astrological charts were the only thing not planned using Waterfall methodology). Waterfall 2024 is announced as a homage to the classic days of software development, where progress was measured in decades and coffee pots were always brewing.